Who knew to call time out raising your kids a “parenting sabbatical”? Seems this touted option elicits opinionated responses from moms of the world.
In her column yesterday for the New York Times, Overcoming a “Planned” Sabbatical, Lisa Belkin features Barbara Hannan Grufferman’s suggestions for re-entering the workforce after taking time out to have a family. Ms. Grufferman had this challenge in her 50s after seven years out to be a full-time mom of two daughters. Of course, she wrote a book about it (see below) and snagged a stint as a columnist for The HuffingtonPost.
Amidst Grufferman’s three other suggestions of very old ideas – create a board of directors, go for a make-over and get high on optimism – is this off-beat idea:
Talk about your “sabbatical”: Many professionals take sabbaticals to renew, refresh and even to do research. Instead of calling it the “I quit my job to raise my children” period of your life, refer to it as your “planned sabbatical.” It’s true, and it’s a subtle yet important difference.
Some of the 36 comments generated from this post are blistering thematic responses (and long on word count). They include:
- What about the men? (gender cards played, sexist society noted)
- Is it even possible for a woman to find a truly satisfying career life after taking time out for the kids?
- Motherhood – is or is NOT a profession?
The idea of calling time out for your parenting a sabbatical seemed preposterous and/or denigrating to many.
Mom responses to the idea include:
- The sabbatical angle degrades the importance and positive impact upon children’s lives by stay at home parents.
- I neither regret nor choose to re-label my time caring for my children.
- Calling it a sabbatical? It’s a ridiculous idea.
- Calling time as a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) seems totally ridiculous. Raising children is honorable work.
- Calling it a sabbatical only demonstrates that we are ashamed. And some of us are…truly ashamed.
Then out of the blue Comment 34 gives credibility to the idea of calling time out raising kids a “planned sabbatical.” Written by Bec from NYC who says she’s a regular person (as opposed to a columnist), she was 48 started looking for work in a new town when her daughter was 5 and didn’t have an easy time of it. Finally she was hired – by a manager-mom “ who completely understoon why I had taken the time off. ”
(Drum roll) … and “I DID call it a ‘sabbatical.’”
What do I think about it calling time-out for parenting a “planned sabbatical.”? Have to say I’m caught without a true opinion for the moment.
So, while I’m processing , help me out. What in the world do you think?
About Lisa Belkin
About Barbara Grufferman
Raised in New York City, Barbara Hannah Grufferman graduated from St. John’s University, and attended New York University’s Graduate School of Social Anthropology. She started a magazine for teenage girls, served as the publisher of several well-known entertainment weekly magazines, and was the president of an international conference company, before she became an author. She is a founding board member of RXCompassion, a not-for-profit organization committed to promoting compassionate care in the medical field. An avid runner, knitter and fan of all things made with peanut butter, Barbara lives in Manhattan with her husband, two daughters, and a rescued dog.
Grufferman’s book is The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts’ Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More.
3 Responses (add yours)
Dear Barbara,
Love your take on Lisa Belkin’s take on my article!
(sorry you thought a few of my ideas were “very old” but I’m a HUGE believer in this: sometimes the simpler the idea, the better it is, and very often it’s the tried and true that work best.)
I’ll check back again to see what your readers think, but even though there were a few NYT readers who didn’t think using the term “sabbatical” was wise . . . most of the readers of my HuffPost article did.
The true bottom line though is that women, whatever their age, should be fearless, and confident, when going back into the work force. It will show.
All the best, and thank you,
Barbara
Barbara,
Book reviews on Amazon clearly indicate readers find “The Best of Everything After 50″ highly informative and valuable so you’ll not need to lose sleep over my assessment of three ideas in Belkin’s article.
It’s this fouth idea of yours – calling time out for parenting a “planned sabbatical” that rocks my world. (and that readers are responding with vigor!)
At your suggestion I’ll look at the comments generated by your column and get back to you on my take.
Thanks for your reply.
Barbara
Barbara,
Have I got some thoughts about this idea!!
Do you want them or would you rather pass??