My husband, Herb, freaked out the other morning when his mobile phone went down to two bars. He yelled obscenities at the phone, hoping it would heal itself from whatever malady it suffered. Later that afternoon when his computer displayed e-mail in a new format, he flipped out – big time. I listened as he raged and insisted he’d been singled out for internet hell.
Herb is a 73-year old retiree; hardly a poster child for our connected 24/7 culture. But obviously, being connected when he wants to be connected is a serious matter to his well-being.
At the time of his break down, he COULD access his mail, mind you, it just took him an extra couple of clicks to open each message. Still, he was dispirited for the rest of the day. ”What are you getting so upset about?” I asked.
“I’m going to miss a whole lot things, that’s what.”
Yeah, I’m thinking, very important stuff like invites for golf, meet-ups for happy hour or sporting commentary on the politics of the day. But, hey, that’s me making judgments!
Herb is an example of someone on the fringes of the bell curve when it comes to what it means to “be connected,” yet he can suffer like the best of us from a persistent and unpleasant condition called DA. Disconnectivity Anxiety (DA) is defined by Dr. Jim Taylor as feelings “characterized by worry and unease caused by periods of technological disconnection from others.”
DA is associated with symptoms of worry, negative emotions, such as fear, anger, frustration, despair and physical distress. The only short-term relief is restoration of the connection.
Sabbatical-goers know first-hand how DA feels. On their final day of work when they realize IT will change their passwords restricting all access to the company email and intranet, they appear mildly ill. Some of them - how do I say it - freak out, just like Herb but without the audible swear words.
Are you mortified if you have to use dial-up to access your email? Do you flail about when you lose your mobile phone signal? Thought so.
Let’s face it. We’re connectivity addicts. Junkies of the instant access drug.
Sabbatical-goers who go cold turkey on connectivity, can teach us something. “What I discovered about the technology,” said one sabbatical-goer returning after a 4-week disconnect, “is that it was hard at first. Then, it wasn’t. And, I actually learned to love it. In fact, not being connected ultimately felt ’surprisingly awesome’ to me. ”
Surprisingly awesome without a connection? Who knew?
2 Responses (add yours)
Even though I am in the middle of my sabbatical, truly “disconnecting” only lasted a few days. I found that I am in need of the internet to research trips, post blog updates, stay connected via FB & Twitter, and of course, manage finances. I was actually going through withdrawal on a cruise ship because every computer on the ship was being used! I am like Herb – I don’t want to miss anything!
I think you (and Herb) represent a good percentage of people who want that connectivity. You both want it so you “don’t miss anything.” On the opposite side, some say that it’s bcause of the constant connectivity that you do miss “things.”
Thanks, Angela, for your comment and for being so transparent.