There are various ways to learn about how to live life better – follow the happiness research, read self-help vociferously, use downtime to zero in on what’s working and what’s not – or listen in on a conversation in a nursing home.
Last Wednesday a 54-year-old dishy blonde, positive and perky woman introduced herself to Brownie, a new resident at the rehabilitation wing of an Ohio nursing home and on the other side of that filmy curtain from me and my 93-year old father. Listen in. (I did.)
Hi! I’m Vicky from Activities!
Brownie, 74 years old and here because of trouble with kidneys, has an undisclosed future as to when or if ever he can go home (usual, for most visitors).
Brownie: Do you have a card? (Brownie always asked for cards.)
Dishy Blonde responds that she has a card, but not on her. She’ll get him one, but she has some questions for him first:
What’s your favorite color?
What animal would you be?
What season do you like best?
Brownie likes blue, can’t think of just one animal he’d want to be and loves all the seasons, making it too hard to choose just one.
Dishy Blonde directs next question to a more substantial topic: What would you like to do that you haven’t done?
Brownie: You mean like in “life.”
Dishy: Yeah, in life.
Brownie: I guess I would like to travel more.
Dishy: So would I. Where would you like to go?
Brownie: I’d really like to go to Branson.
Dishy: Branson, Missouri?
Brownie: Yeah.
Dishy: That’s supposed to be nice.
Brownie: Also, I wish I’d planted an apple orchard.
Dishy, having substantiated a high trust level, moves it up a notch: WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THESE THINGS, BROWNIE?
Brownie: Oh you know, we both worked. Got busy with the kids. Forgot about’em I guess.
Dishy wants to make certain patient is in touch with reality: And now you really can’t, can you?
Brownie: No ma’am, I can’t.
Okay. You take it from here. Select the gender, age and hair color of your Activities Director and zoom into the future. The conversation? What Do You Wish You Had Done When You Could Have, Now That You Can’t
Just so you know. Branson, Missouri is 617.44 miles from that nursing home where Brownie is. All it would have taken for Brownie to check that off his list of “places I want to go in my life” would have been some wheels, a tank of gas and 10 hours on the road. With a wing and a prayer, he could still make it and get it off his Bucket List. The Bucket List - just in case you don’t know, is a list of things you want to do before you die- (as in ‘kick the bucket’) – and has made its way into mainstream vocabulary by the popular 2007 movie The Bucket List, starring Robert De Niro and Morgan Freeman.
The apple orchard? Takes 10 years to grow an edible crop, and Brownie’s on a walker. That one stays in the bucket, I’ll bet.
Does your bucket overflow? Have you, like Brownie, forgotten about the things you want to do before you die? What will stay in your bucket?
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